I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
