He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
