you traded sex for a burrito?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
