ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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