so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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