he told me I talked like a deaf person
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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