i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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