just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wear drunk well.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
