Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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