woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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