did you get engaged???
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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