my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
