Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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