obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
