I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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