Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
