Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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