Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
