wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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