Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
