i don't like sucking hair
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize