haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
