real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
