my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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