The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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