Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
