Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
