I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
