There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize