ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
