Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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