Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
