Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
