i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
