Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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