she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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