Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize