i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
