I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize