Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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