Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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