Ambien. No doubt about it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
