And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
