literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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