I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
