I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
