: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
