Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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