We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
