remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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