He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
