I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
