is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
