Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
