I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
