Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
