woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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