eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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