I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So many bounce houses so little time
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I just put wine in my tea
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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