so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
