Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
