I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize