You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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