After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
