Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
only you would photoshop your dick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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