Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
