My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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