In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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